Mindfulness of Race: An Ongoing Journey

Judy Bernstein, guest blogger and Certified MBSR Teacher, shares her personal journey as a white American woman addressing race and racial justice. She describes how mindfulness can interrupt unconscious bias, and the benefits of practicing within a racial affinity group. 

Interpersonal Mindfulness and Racial Justice

Several years ago a small group of white meditators, of which I am a member, began investigating racism together on a regular basis, using the core tenets of Insight Dialogue. We’re still at it, as this journey is ongoing.  We read, watch, and listen. We contemplate, grieve, and rage. We resist, process, and metabolize. We feel hopeful, hopeless, overwhelmed, inspired. We create and act. You name it.  Together we are beginning to see what has been largely obscured. This waking up is an ever-deepening process, as the veils of delusion and ignorance dissolve, and reality is revealed. 

Waking up to the unconscious moments

What’s especially curious about this process is the way in which my sensibilities engage unevenly.  When I participate in courses and workshops about race, when I read about racial justice, or when I find myself in places where my white body is not the normative body,  I’m jolted awake to my own racial identity and the pain of racial inequity. Suddenly, I see more clearly. The body, heart and mind are alert and responsive… And then there are other times when I sink into daily life and space out, detached from the awareness and feelings that had been aroused previously . That wakeful quality recedes into the background. In addition to physical distances, there’s a psychological process of detachment that occurs unconsciously.

This process of waking up and falling back to sleep, over and over, reminds me of meditation practice.  When meditating, there are times when mindfulness is strong:  there’s awareness of bodily sensations, breath, space, emotions, and thoughts, arising and dissipating.  In those moments I’m present for my experience and the world around me.  I’m grounded in knowing what’s true.

And then there are times in meditation when I find myself floating in another place. I am caught up in thoughts of planning, remembering, and anticipating.  I am fused with emotions stirred by past and future events, and involved in constructing and visualizing imaginary scenarios. When I return to the vividness and clarity of the present moment, it feels as though I have been lost in a dream.

Mindfulness practices remind us to return to the present moment, with patience and kindness, without judgment.  Over and over again, we wake up and return to what’s actually happening right now.  Patience, intention, and compassion are key.  There is the knowing that what is unfolding in the present moment, the personal and the societal, is the consequence of countless causes and conditions. 

Waking up together

Engaging with others in this work of mindfully investigating race has supported me greatly. When the present moment is unpleasant, others’ kind, wakeful presence  offers me support to return to the experience at hand, that it’s possible to bear witness. We share and accept a range of responses, a multitude of perspectives. Together we see ways in which having white skin entitles us to privileges others are denied.  Ultimately we are meeting the situation with greater clarity. In our collective willingness to see and allow what’s here, we cultivate courage and refuge.

We need one another to wake up to our internal lives and to racism on both internalized and systemic levels.  When the heart and the mind are fully present, we see clearly, we know what is true.  And with clear knowing, we can act with greater wisdom and compassion.

Don't Go Back to Sleep

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

- Rumi, as interpreted by Coleman Barks.

More information about Judy Bernstein’s upcoming program “White Awareness: Relational Mindfulness and Race Equity,” starting on September 22nd, can be found here.

© MML Editorial Team, 2021