Sustaining your Practice
You’ve taken an introductory course, or an MBSR or MBCT course, and you’ve got some momentum and inspiration. Great! You tell yourself -- “I’m going to meditate for the rest of my life, this is so helpful!” Two months later, you are feeling significantly “under-meditated;” you notice you are more reactive and less creative than when you were meditating regularly. Your commitment has waned and you are struggling to get back to a regular formal practice. Doubt starts to creep in: can you really do this? Falling in love with the practice was easy. Now comes the harder part: sustaining it.
Establishing a routine is a key element in sustaining a practice. Much has been said and written about the power of non-negotiable routines: “Love the routine, it will love you back!” Below are a few tips specific to sustaining a meditation routine.
Tending to place
It can be helpful to designate a regular mediation “spot” in your home. Try to keep it uncluttered. And when you practice, think about setting a mood that will make it feel special, whether with a candle, flowers, or an image that inspires you to sit. Notice what is most helpful: facing the wall? a window? a personal altar? Maybe you have a favorite blanket or a cushion that you keep just for meditation. Even if your meditation space is multipurpose, the point is to train your brain to recognize that when you’re in your “spot,” it’s time to tune in to yourself and quiet down.
In some cases, meditating at home is not a reliable option. Some people do this in their (parked!) cars. Church gardens are an outdoor favorite. An increasing number of workplaces have quiet rooms and telephone booths that can be used. Some large facilities like hospitals and airports have multi-faith chapels and prayer spaces.
If you can’t really rely on a regular “spot,” make your spot portable! You might carry with you an image or a poem – something that you can pull out when and where you find yourself able, in order to practice for a time.
Tending to time
It can be useful to practice at the same time each day to help your brain recognize meditation as a habit, like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. We recommend trying different times to see what feels right for building a consistent practice into your schedule. Many people meditate early in the morning before the hustle and bustle of the day starts, but an evening or lunchtime routine can be just as effective. We are not all morning people!
If you keep a calendar, you might consider marking the time, like any other meeting. It’s an appointment with yourself, after all. You can set daily, weekly, and monthly goals in certain calendar apps and habit trackers. If you have a taste for gamification, it can be motivating to see your practice minutes add up and consecutive days accumulate.
Teaming up with a meditation buddy or buddies
It can really help to find an accountability buddy or group of buddies. This does not necessarily mean practicing together, but rather checking in, even daily, to support each other in building a routine. Having a buddy also helps with not giving ourselves a hard time when we miss a day; buddies focus on encouraging and celebrating one another. Some people form a texting chain or group. Even a short chain can make a big difference!
Upayadhi shares her story of sustaining her practice: “Years ago I had a friend with small children who was a very early morning meditator, unlike me. When he finished meditating he would text me: “Tag, you’re it”. That’s all there was to it – just the little friendly nudge that I needed to get to the cushion and start my day with a morning practice. Then I would get up from my sit, and tag him back for the next day. Over time, this small gesture of solidarity was a game changer.”
Follow-on courses and alumni gatherings
After you’ve spent some time practicing on your own without the training wheels, how about giving yourself the gift of another course? Commit now to taking something down the road, in a few months’ time when your momentum may be waning. This is like building in a safeguard to help you top up your practice. Many such courses are listed in this site; you might also seek out a particular instructor who you connect with, to see what they might be offering later in the year. There are also specific courses and Practice Days which are designed and/or open to alumni of mindfulness-based programs. You can look those up in our directory here.
The MBSR Teachers Collaborative of Greater New York offers a monthly gathering for alumni of (any) MBSR course on a Sunday evening (EST). Currently, this is on-line due to the pandemic; and all MBSR Alumni are welcome. This can be a lovely way to connect with others around a shared experience, meeting new teachers and refreshing your practice.
Finding a regular practice group
The vast majority of people need more than an app or a personal routine to sustain their practice for a lifetime. Just as a group course is a powerful co-learning experience, developing a connection with an ongoing community of practice can keep you connected sustainably to the practice itself.
How might you find a regular group? This site has a compilation of regular practice groups facilitated by the instructors listed in our directory. You might also seek out opportunities in your local community and on-line through organizations where announcements or advertisements are often posted. Some people find groups on MeetUp, or in the directory pages of Tricycle or Mindful Magazine. If you can’t find a group that works for you, consider starting one! You might be surprised how many people in your social and professional circles come out of the woodwork to join you in this kind of initiative. While many groups of peers have started (and continue) without a teacher, you might also invite an occasional guest teacher or listen to recorded practices together.
Letting the practice sustain you
All this can sound like a lot of work and effort. Don’t despair! Over time, many meditators report that a regular practice becomes as ordinary and reflexive as brushing their teeth. In other words, there is a tipping point when not meditating (just like not brushing our teeth!) has a “cost” that we quickly notice and naturally seek to remedy.
Just like any relationship, expect variable weather in your meditation practice. There will be dry spells, lush flowerings, and a whole range of seasons. Remember to have compassion for yourself; if you lose steam or even stop altogether you can always come back… The practice will always be waiting for you and welcome you home.
© MML Editorial Team, 2021